I found solice by talking to my friends but it was so internalised it took many years for me to tell them. I'm glad I did. Now I don't care who knows as it wasn't my fault and it isn't my shame.
Always remember it's never your fault.
Here are some useful charities with helplines for immediate help. You should also speak to your doctor if you can. As mentioned above, a good friend is good sounding ground.
I aim to set up my own helpline going forward. However, you can always express your feelings in an email to The Willow Project MK which will remain confidential.
The aim of Sibling Abuse Awareness UK is to support you
Helpline - 116 123
Helpline - 0300 123 3393
Helpline - 0800 1111
Helpline - 0808 800 5000
Immediate Danger - 999
Talk to a police officer - 101